Why

Why do you ask if I’m okay?

I’m just going to say that I am

though my heart is slowly breaking

Why do I avoid you?

“I’m busy that day” when I have no plans

I don’t respond to your messages “I was busy then too”

Why does seeing you hurt?

You’re practically my sibling

Yet sometimes when I need you most I don’t want to talk.

Why can’t you see?

You might be slowly losing me

-Colorful Daydreamer

Advertisements

They can’t know

This is my house

Has been for years

The house on the lake

Where there shouldn’t be fears

Yes we have good times but they can’t know about the other times
They can’t know

That the other one’s home

The one that’s welcoming and filled with laughter

The one where I ACTUALLY feel cared for
And they can’t know

What happens at night

The nightmares that wake me up

The tears that hurt my eyes the panic attacks that make even my soul shake

If I said anything to him he’d only blame himself
And they can’t know

Because they’d get upset

Because I’m overreacting

Because I “seem fine all day”
And they can’t know
I only come to see him

I find myself getting weaker when we are all spending time together

I go to my room to escape them

This is my house

Has been for years

The house on the lake

Where there shouldn’t be fears

Yes we have good times but they can’t know about the other times

And they can’t know that I’m writing this right now
-Colorful Daydreamer

Here I am

I sit next to you

saying nothing

Can I tell you the truth?

Just not all of it

Here I am

I think of something to say

The moment quickly passes

along with my courage

So I just stay where I am

There are no words

Here I am

Sitting

Sitting in one place

Sitting perfectly still

Staring

Staring at nothing

Staring into space

Hoping

Hoping that you notice

Hoping that you do something

Afraid

Afraid of what would happen

Afraid of feeling guilty

Here I am

speechless…

I wonder

Do you know how much I care

Even though I just sit and stare?

As you wipe her lipstick off your face

Do you wish that mine would take its place?

Do you see me when you close your eyes

Even though she’s by your side?

As you see my name on your phone

Do you wish I would leave you alone?

Do you want me to hold you tight

Even though you think it’s not right?

As you start to fall asleep

Do you think about what we could be?

I wonder…

Maybe Someday

Maybe someday

You’ll fall for my smile

as easy as I fell for yours

You’ll dream of my smile

as much as I dream of yours

Maybe someday

You’ll look me in the eyes

You’ll ask me to dance

You’ll let me hold your hand

Maybe some day

You’ll sing to all my favorite songs

as we dance around my room

You’ll whisper that you love me

as I fall asleep next to you

But until that day comes I’ll say

Maybe someday….

Your apologies are meaningless along with your promises…

You hurt me

“I’m sorry it won’t happen again”

and I fell for it

but the next time around

you say it again

“I’m sorry it won’t happen again”

“I promise”

Do you realize what you said?

Do you realize how you said it?

“I’m sorry it won’t happen again”

Why are we running in circles?

Why do you treat people like this?

Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear.

Don’t tell me you’re sorry.

Don’t make promises

Don’t say anything

Because your apologies are meaningless

along with your promises…

~Colorful Daydreamer