With him

I think I want you more than want
And no I need you more than need
I want to hold you more than hold
When you stood in front of me

-The Script

Each day he looks at me the same way.  Wheather I have jeans and no makeup on or if I have a dress it doesn’t matter.  His eyes are always wide and looking deep into mine as if he is searching for something in my soul.  When he looks at me a million thoughts run through my mind.

I often think about dancing in his garage with no music.  Being held so close and spun around.  His lips kissing my hand after our feet stopped moving.   I think about all of the times he whispered “I love you” into my ears knowing I wouldn’t have said that I love him too.  I think about all of the unexpected hugs and all the times he picked me up with excitement.

I wish that each time I saw him I could run into his arms and stay there for hours.  Time seems to stand still in the moments that I spend wrapped up in him and I wish it would.

It’s been too long since I’ve felt like I could tell anyone as much as I tell him.  But I vent to him and he keeps a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.  And believe me, I’ve needed it a lot lately.  It’s so nice to know that no matter how crazy my life gets he wants to be there each step of the way.

He would give anything to keep me happy 24/7.  And he knows that I would do the same for him. Unfortunately, I don’t have much to give so all I give him is the bits of time that I have.

We are thinking about working together soon.  And I am so excited.  He is so good with technology and so he can make labels and tags for my products.  I’m super excited to share this experience with him.

I hope he knows how happy he makes me.  I hope he sees it in my eyes just like I see it in his.

~Colorful Daydreamer

 

 

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Boys like him

Who make sure you sleep well

Who prove each and every day

That you are dear to them

Who always hold you when you cry

How lucky am I?

To have a boy like him.

He reads me the words I love most

Poetry that reminds him of us

He envisions a future

One I would love to share with him

How lucky could anyone be?

To have a boy like him

From the warm coffee and hug in the morning

To the sweet kiss goodbye at the end of the day

From the “Good morning love”

To the “Sweet dreams only”

I feel so full of love

I’m so lucky

Because there’s no boys like him

 

In loving memory…..

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This Wednesday the earth has lost the darling cat, Maxine.  Many people had different nicknames for her for my best friend it was “the fat one”.  My ex-girlfriend called her “bread cat”.  But everyone at home called her “Punkin”.

She was my little brother’s cat from day one.  (He’s the one holding her in the picture)

She never loved to be held but everyone loved to hold her.  Some people said it was like holding a panda bear.  But she would roll over and let you rub her stomach and run around

We (my mother and I) took her to the vets for worms.  She was her usual playful self.  Running around and rolling around on the floor letting the vet scratch her stomach.  I mean she was TOTALLY healthy. (except for the fact that she had worms)—Then they gave her the pill.  They had to give it to her in four pieces to make it easier for her.  This stressed her out so much.  Which is normal. What cat wants a pill shoved down their throat?  We put her back in her carrier and brought her home.  (Note: The carrier is a cardboard box with holes in it from the shelter.)  Since this was her first time to the vets since she was a kitten because she was only two years and 5 months old we didn’t think much of her being stressed. Plus we only live 15 minutes from the vet so we’d be home soon.

When we got home my mother took the carrier into the bathroom (where Maxine’s bed is).  She opened up the carrier and Maxine had passed.  So my mother went back to the vets with Maxine’s body.  They did an autopsy and found that her heart muscles were strained.  She had a heart attack…

My mother and I have been blaming ourselves for what had happened for the past few days.  We both wish we had realized how unhappy she was.  She cried on the way back. But she cried on the way there too when she stopped we thought she just wore herself out.

She will be missed by all of us including other pets.


A small thank you to all the people who have given me little things and boxes of things and hugs.  I appreciate all the sympathy I’ve received because of this.  And even though life hurts at the moment they have made it a little easier.

Thank you all so much!

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Beautiful Like You

“And I wish that you could feel it. But you don’t choose to believe it cause I know that you can’t see it that way.”~Beautiful Like You by Lee DeWyze

More often times than not when I call someone beautiful they disagree and then point out all their flaws or things that they don’t like about themselves.

I never said that you’re flawless or that you don’t have insecurities.  I said you were beautiful.  When I tell you that you are beautiful I hope you know that I admire you not only for the things that I think are absolutely perfect about you but I also say it because I know about your flaws.  I have flaws too…Believe me.    

I wish you could look into the mirror and see all the great things that I see when I look at you.  Even if it’s for a few seconds.  I wish that you could believe me when I say “You’re beautiful”.  I really do think so.  I wish I could convince you.  But I know I’ll probably never be able to.  I wish I could show you how amazing you are to me because I know the mirror whispers awful things into your ears.

Stop negatively categorizing yourself or putting a label on what you see because I what I see is you and you are beautiful.

So if I could scream all of this to you I would.  But I can’t so here I am telling the world that I think you are beautiful and leaving them to ask the question “who is this about?”  It’s about you……..

~Colorful Daydreamer