“I, Did all I could, So kiss this one more time, ’cause I’m gone for good.” ~Kiss This By The Struts.
*IT’S ABOUT TIME I DO A STRUTS SONG!!!!! GOD, I LOVE THIS BAND!*
I tend to get rid of EVERYTHING as soon as a relationship is over. I hate having anything left over. But there are still photos living in my phone left over from when we took them. I can’t get rid of them. I like to look at them and feel nothing. Could I actually be looking at them and feel nothing?
I remember the pointless apologies. They didn’t mean anything not because the person didn’t mean them but because I didn’t want them. What I wanted was to wake up from the nightmare that was those days. Yet instead I woke up to an “I’m sorry…” But they didn’t change anything. It didn’t change the ache.
I like to look at the pictures and know that there is a huge chance we’ll never look at each other as friends. And I like that. I like knowing that we’ll go in completely different directions. I like knowing that the fact that they burned my heart and walked on the ashes doesn’t just hurt me. I like that they have to deal with the fact that they drove my soul into the ground. I like to know in a few years we will me in different states and maybe even different countries.
Does that make me a terrible person?
It happened and it’s done. I’m glad that seeing me tears them apart. Because they tore me apart bit by bit. So THEY have to deal with the fact that I’ll never see them like I did when we first met. Because my heart healed. Time has passed. Somebody said they still feel regret. And I’m finally able to say “Who cares?” because yes, it sucks for them. But maybe they’ve learned to do things differently. I hope that they feel the slight sting because I KNOW that I felt it so much stronger for so much longer.